If you follow me on social media you probably saw that I’m taking a break to finish the edits on the Rebel Heart manuscript.
I was supposed to have finished these the week I was in Los Angeles and San Diego but instead I wrote my heart out and ended up with over 4,000 words of another #MeToo piece. I was too exhausted after writing about past trauma and how it still affects and even informs my parenting today to tackle the edits then so I’ve set myself a new deadline. Wednesday is my goal but I’m allowing myself the grace of Friday as a final cut off.
Working on a deadline when you also have a full time job and you have a husband and two kids is not easy.
In his book the War of Art, Steven Pressfield says, ‘the aspiring artist must be ruthless.’ I think about that word a lot. Ruthlessness. Ruthlessness in order to make art. Art you want to be published that is. Working on a deadline means not seeing your family much. It means the moment your kids are home from school and you finish your day job, you pack up your computer and go to the local co-working space and open your computer and start using your brain differently.
It’s hard for me to switch between a day job doing technical writing and software engineering support to one where I’m editing a memoir about meeting and falling in love with my husband, sailing on the sea pregnant and with kids, an ocean rescue, crazy family members, and all the fallout that happened after. I’ve found when I have to switch between worlds like this that I often sit down with the Rebel Heart book and pretend it’s someone else’s book. If I don’t, I get too emotionally invested and it’s hard to switch back to day-to-day reality. (This is also why I like to go away to write, so I don’t have to keep flipping between words.)
But I’m working on a deadline. So I have to be ruthless. Ruthless means telling your friend you can’t celebrate her birthday for another 10 days because you are writing on a self-imposed deadline and then your husband is out town after that. It’s hoping she understands.
It’s telling a lot of people no. It’s no, no, no. No to activities and opportunities because you are saying yes to your deadline.
I did say yes to a pre-scheduled Halloween party last night at our house. I was so tempted to cancel it. Not because I don’t love my friends and family but because I was deep in part two of the manuscript, when then parajumpers had just arrived on the boat and in the midst of trying to care for our sick daughter they all got horribly seasick. Then my alarm rang to tell me I had to flip modes. It was time to go home and make a wintery bacon cheddar chowder soup and dress up as Harry Potter’s mother and be in mom and Halloween mode and I almost cried Uncle. It’s hard to walk between two worlds, the creative writer and the caring mother.
I did it though. I made the soup with the soundtrack I listen to while I’m writing playing in my head and five minutes before guests arrived my husband, Eric, got a Search and Rescue (SAR) call out and he had to be ruthless too because helping people in tough situations is his calling, like writing is mine. So he left the party before it started and headed out into a cold night to find someone in trouble. He said no to the party and yes to SAR and I supported him entirely.
Our guests arrived thereafter. Here you can see my oldest as Harry Potter, our friend’s daughter as a veterinarian, and my youngest as Harry Potter’s cat :)
Eric didn’t roll in until 5:00am this morning so I handled the morning routine. Now it’s time to check in with my day job and the moment I can, I’ll pack up my bags and head to the co-working space to work into the evening hours on this deadline because the aspiring artist must be ruthless.
Here’s hoping my brain can handle it all.
What are you being ruthless about? What are you saying yes to? What are you saying no to?
All the best,
More on Instagram